Yeah you read that right. I’ve never been in a relationship, but I’ve decided to go on a six month dating fast.
I know what you’re thinking, how does that even work? When I first heard about dating fasts I would joke and say something like “well looks like I’ve been on a dating fast for the past 18 years!” Then one day someone explained to me that a dating fast isn’t just dating, it includes everything you do to pursue someone. It includes flirting, having a Tinder, dancing with a guy at the bar, imagining dating that cute guy in your Chem class, etc. It includes every interaction with and thinking about someone of the opposite sex (or whoever you’re attracted to, I don’t judge) that is not solely with the intent to be friends. With that said, you can still talk to guys as long as you just do it in a friendly way.
So why exactly am I going on a dating fast in what should be my prime for relationships, especially since I haven’t even been in one? Well you see, I’m a natural flirt. I have guy friends but usually when I first meet a guy I flirt. That’s just how I’ve always been. And if I do end up liking a guy I either like him for six seconds or two years. There’s no in between. In my life I have had two long term “crushes”, one ending this past March. I had feelings for a guy for about a year and before that for a different guy for two. I need a break. After I decided to end those feelings for the guy in March, I developed such fruitful friendships with guys. I think that for right now that’s all I need from the men in my life while I work on myself.
Ok well now you know what a dating fast is but you probably think it sounds like the worst thing ever. What’s wrong with flirting? Also, isn’t it pretty much impossible not to have “crushes”? Is that even something someone can control? What if the perfect guy comes by and you miss him because you were on your dating fast and you’re gonna die alone? What’s the point of this fast anyway?
Developing feelings for someone is something that I didn’t think someone could necessarily control, but it is definitely possible. Remember Philippians 4:13 (I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me)! That includes strength for liking, or not liking, boys! With this dating fast, I hope that even if I meet someone that I could potentially be attracted to, I remind myself that I am on this fast, cast potential feelings aside, and strive to just be friends. If we become friends and after my fast is over we both decide to pursue something further then why not, but if after becoming friends I realize that it’s just best to stay friends, then that’s fine too! One more guy friend added to the list. I also don’t believe that “Mr. Right” will come by and I’ll miss my chance at marriage just because of this fast. The Lord is in charge and he puts the right people in our lives at the right time. He knows that I’m on the fast and maybe a guy I think is perfect will come by, but the Lord knows whether he’s perfect for me. Maybe “Mr. Right” will come around during my fast, but he’ll wait for me until after November 18th, 2017. I’m open to anything. The Lord will bring the right guy around when the time is right.
So wait is this really not just an excuse since you’ve been single? You’re 18 and single, you must have just never been able to get a date, right? Nope. I have been single because I’m picky. I’ve been asked out before and rejected guys. You could have been in 1000 relationships or none at all and still decide to go on a dating fast. This fast is solely to bring me closer to the Lord, focus on myself, and realize that flirting, developing feelings, and dating are things to be cherished. The ultimate purpose of this fast is just like any other fast, to realize things you take for granted are blessings. For example, during Lent some Christian denominations abstain from meat on Fridays. If you have ever done this you know how hard it is not to eat meat on those days and how absolutely amazing it tastes the next day when you finally can eat it. That turkey sandwich never tasted so good until you couldn’t have it! That’s exactly what a dating fast is too, to abstain from something so when you have it again it is the better than you have ever remembered.
It’s May 18th, 2017 and this is the official start of my six month dating fast. It will end on November 18th, 2017.
If you have any questions about what a dating fast is, how my dating fast is going, or how to go on one yourself please feel free to email me or DM me on Instagram (@thefreckledprep)! I will keep this blog posted with updates about my fast!