The New Type of Self Harm

Everyone self-harms. You may not be cutting your wrists or smoking a pack of cigarettes a day or binge drinking until you black out but I can guarantee you have harmed yourself in the worst way without realizing it: emotional self-harm.

By emotional self-harm I’m talking about liking the guy (or girl) who you know is not right for you and you know there’s only one way that it’s going to end and its with you getting hurt. But you put on these goggles and think that just because this person isn’t right for you there still might be a chance. These goggles are created by investments: time, emotion, friendship, etc. You think that because you have known this person, been friends with this person, loved this person for so long that you give it just a little bit more time they will start to feel the same way about you. Every time he tells you about some hot girl he met at a party or you see him flirting with someone else it hurts you a little bit inside. You don’t say anything because you don’t want to ruin the friendship you made and you’re hoping that one day he looks up at you and realizes that you’ve always been there and then he’ll magically fall in love. When he doesn’t you cry to yourself in your room or in the shower. I’m telling you now, and what I’m saying is coming out of a place of love, the only way to stop emotionally cutting yourself is by taking off the goggles. List out the reasons why you love him and the reasons that you don’t. Is he the perfect guy for you? Would you be proud to show your friends his Instagram and say this is the man you want to marry one day? None of us are perfect, but if you can’t find good reasons why you really like him then he’s not the perfect guy for you. Take off the goggles and stop hurting yourself from the inside. It’s going to feel so much better if you are the one who takes off the goggles than if he rips them off your face. It’s going to hurt at first, but I can guarantee you’ve been through something similar before and you made it out okay. Just think about the last guy you liked, or even the last guy you loved. You eventually stopped and you no longer like them, and hey you’re doing just fine. You got over it and moved on. I know you probably feel like you will never get over this person, this person is different, but I’m here to tell you that you will get over it and the sooner you do it the better. Take the energy that you would put into this person and put it towards something that makes you feel good and makes you feel better as a person, whether that’s school work, exercise, creating a blog, growing in your faith, or all of the above. Take the goggles off and stop cutting yourself from the inside. Eventually the wounds will heal, even if you have to pour some peroxide on them first. The longer you emotionally self-harm, the closer you are to emotional suicide. Take the goggles off.


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